Hu Shi – Mr. Close Enough

Mr. Close Enough…Mr. Cha Buduo. He never seems to get things quite right, but he represents everything China is about. This is his story, a short, sardonic piece by the scholar and UN Ambassador Hu Shi. In some ways, Mr. Close Enough echos Lu Xun’s Ah Q, in other ways it is the polar opposite of that story. 

My Partial Translation:

你知道中國最有名的人是誰？提起此人，人人皆曉，處處聞名，他姓差，名不多，是各省各縣各村人氏。你一定見過他，一定聽過別人談起他，差不多先生的名字，天天掛在大家的口頭，因為他是中國全國人的代表。

Do you know who China’s most famous person is? As soon as you mention this person, everyone knows him, they have all heard of him, his last name is Cha, is first name is BuDuo, he is a native of a bunch of different provinces, counties and villages. You have certainly met him, you’ve certainly heard other people talking about him. Mr. Cha Buduo, everyday he is on the lips of people, because he is the person who best represents China as a country. 

后来他在一个钱铺里做伙计；他也会写，也会算，只是总不会精细。十字常常写成千字，千字常常写成十字。掌柜的生气了，常常骂他。他只是笑嘻嘻地赔礼道：“千字比十字只多一小撇，不是差不多吗？”

Afterwards, he did accounting work in a banking house. He could write, he could count, but he could not do it meticulously. 10, he often wrote as a 1000, and one 1000 he often wrote as 10. The manager got angry and yelled at him. He would just laugh and pologize, saying “1000 and 10, there is only one stroke different in the character, isn’t it chabuduo?”

有一天，他为了一件要紧的事，要搭火车到上海去。他从从容容地走到火车站，迟了两分钟，火车已开走了。他白瞪着眼，望着远远的火车上的煤烟，摇摇头道：“只好明天再走了，今天走同明天走，也还差不多。可是火车公司未免太认真了。八点三十分开，同八点三十二分开，不是差不多吗？”他一面说，一面慢慢地走回家，心里总不明白为什么火车不肯等他两分钟。

One day, he had an urgent matter, he had to take a train to go to Shanghai. He leisurely walked to the train station. He was two minutes late. The train had already left. He vainly stared, looking at the smoke of the far away train and shook his head, saying, “I guess I will have to go tomorrow. Going tomorrow and going today, are they not chabuduo? But is the train company not taking things two seriously. Leaving at 8:30, is that not chabuduo as leaving at 8:32? He said this as he slowly walked home, and in his heart he could not figure out why the train had not waited two minutes for him. 

有一天，他忽然得了急病，赶快叫家人去请东街的汪医生。那家人急急忙忙地跑去，一时寻不着东街的汪大夫，却把西街牛医王大夫请来了。差不多先生病在床上，知道寻错了人；但病急了，身上痛苦，心里焦急，等不得了，心里想道：“好在王大夫同汪大夫也差不多，让他试试看罢。”于是这位牛医王大夫走近床前，用医牛的法子给差不多先生治病。不上一点钟，差不多先生就一命呜呼了。差不多先生差不多要死的时候，一口气断断续续地说道：“活人同死人也差……差……差不多，……凡事只要……差……差……不多……就……好了，……何……何……必……太……太认真呢？”他说完了这句话，方才绝气了

One day, he suddenly came down with nasty sickness. He quickly got his family  to go to bring the doctor Wang 汪 from east street. The family member rushed running, and momentarily could not find the Wang of east street. so he just brought the animal doctor named Wang from west street. Mr. Chabuduo was sick in bed, and he knew that they had found the wrong person. but his sickness was severe, his body hurt, his heart felt anxious, he could not wait, and in his mind he thought, “Doctor Wang is chabuduo with dr. wang, let him do a bit of an exam, who cares.” Then, the veterinarian approached his bed, and he tried to cure Mr. Chabuduo using the methods for curing cows. Within an hour, Mr. Chabuduo had breathed his last breath. As Mr. Chabuduo was dying, he haltingly said, “Living people, dead people, aren’t they all chabuduo. All things are chabuduo? Why do we need to be so meticulous?” When he finished this sentence, he just died. 

他的名誉越传越远，越久越大。无数无数的人都学他的榜样。于是人人都成了一个差不多先生——然而中国从此就成为一个懒人国了

His fame spread far and wide, the more time went on the bigger that fame became. Numerous people all studied his style. Thus, everybody became Mr. Chabuduo. Then, from this China will become a nation of layabouts.